Tragedy
by GendryaCaesar
Summary: Set during the summer after Harry's fifth year. After Remus and Harry find out that Harry is Remus's mate, Remus blames Harry for Sirius's death. What happens when Harry tries to kill himself? Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

"Professor Dumbledore?" Harry stood in Dumbledore's office with Ron and Hermione the summer after fifth year, wondering why exactly he was here. He couldn't have done something too awful without knowing it, could he? Well, besides the fact that it was his fault that his own godfather was dead. The summer wasn't even over yet and it was without a doubt one of the worst summers of his life. "Am I in trouble?"

"Of course not, Harry," Dumbledore reassured him. "I have called you-and Remus, who should be here any minute-here for a very…strange reason."

"What's the reason?" Harry asked, more curious than ever, but before Dumbledore could answer the office door flew open and in the doorway stood a very tired out Remus Lupin.

"Sorry I'm late Albus," he panted, sitting down in a chair. Harry sat down beside Ron on the couch, Hermione on the other side of Ron, and they all looked up at Dumbledore expectantly.

"It's all right, Remus," said Dumbledore. There was a long silence before Dumbledore said, "So the news. Harry, you are Remus's mate."

"What?" everyone said at the same time.

"But, but…I hate him!" Remus spat, and Harry turned to Remus in shock and hurt.

"Why?" Harry demanded, glaring at Remus.

"_Sirius _was my mate!" Remus stood and the chandelier hanging from the ceiling swayed back and forth and the lights flickered. "I loved _him_! You-" -here he pointed a finger at Harry and glared back at Harry- "-this is _your_ fault."

"Don't blame Harry for what happened!" Ron cut in, raising his wand at Remus. "We all trusted you even _after _the incident in the Shreiking Shack, because Sirius turned out to be innocent! Do you know how much Harry cares about you?"

"Ron," Harry said firmly, but Ron only continued.

"He talks about you all the time! He idolizes you!" Ron yelled.

"_Ron_," Harry growled, tugging at his friend's robes. "He's not worth it."

Harry instantly knew that was the last thing he should have said. "What did you just say?"

"I-I didn't mean-I'm sorry," Harry stammered.

"I expect you've forgotten how much I've done for you!" Remus shouted, at this point beyond furious. "Who gave you private lessons which ended up saving your ass in the Dark Forest?! Who took you on long walks on the weekends when all your friends were at Hogsmeade?! Who saved your _life _on the train when we first _met_?!"

"Remus," said Dumbledore loudly but calmly. "Stop. I think you both need time to calm down and think for a while."

"You can say that again," Hermione squeaked, eyes wide at the scene before her.

"I will never forgive you for this Harry," Remus gasped, ignoring the tears sliding down Harry's cheeks as he fled the room.

"Harry," said Hermione, and she got up and hugged Harry. "I'm so sorry."

"It's all right, 'Mione." Harry hugged her back. "Remus is right. It's my fault that Sirius died."

"Don't say that Harry," Ron interrupted, and Hermione only pulled him into their hug.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus sighed wearily as he walked up the stairs in Grimmauld Place, trying to find Harry's room. Hermione and Ron were downstairs, worried sick about Harry, and so was Remus. He had taken Dumbledore's advice and thought about what had happened for a long time, and he felt absolutely horrible for the words that he had-

Remus stopped in front of Harry's open bedroom, and he stood in the doorway in shock as Harry poured a bottle of what appeared to be potion into his mouth. The boy instantly collapsed, the bottle breaking the moment it hit the floor, and Remus let out an ear-piercing scream and caught Harry in his arms before he could fall to the floor as well.

"Harry!" Remus yelled, shaking his love's lifeless body. "No!" He jumped when he heard Hermione's scream and a thump indicating that Ron had just fainted, and Hermione rushed over to Harry.

"Remus, what happened?!" shrieked Hermione.

"He took some sort of potion!" Remus gasped, panicking, and he pressed his lips to Harry's trying to blow air into him. Remus began giving Harry chest compressions and blew more air into Harry as Hermione stroked Harry's fingers.

"No…he isn't dead…" Remus sobbed, hugging Harry's limp body to his chest and brushing dark hair of Harry's eyes. "Harry, I love you, I always have and I always will and I would do anything to hear your voice again. Please don't leave me-" His voice broke and he began to weep.

"Remus," said Hermione suddenly, and Remus looked up to see a piece of paper in her hand.

"What's that?" Remus asked, taking the letter from her.

"Everybody is to leave this room, now!" they heard next. Ron was very much awake and Madame Pomfrey, McGonagall, and Dumbledore stood in the doorway.

"But…" Remus protested, and Madame Pomfrey only shoved past him and bent down next to Harry's body. "I'm his mate!"

"OUT!" Madame Pomfrey yelled, pointing to the door. "All of you!"

"Remus, come on," Hermione said, and Remus sighed and followed her out of the room. Harry would be fine. He had to. Remus loved him with all that he had, so Harry would be fine.

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Remus read Harry's letter during the short time that they waited to see if Harry would be okay. He began crying all over again when finding out that Harry felt the same as he did, and had killed himself because of Remus. If Harry died, Remus would never forgive himself. He'd kill himself too.

"Remus." Remus's head snapped up as he folded Harry's letter and put it in his pocket, and he looked desperately at Madame Pomfrey.

"Is he okay?" Remus demanded. When she remained silent he growled, "IS HE?"

"Harry is in a coma," Madame Pomfrey said in a voice just above a whisper. "I have no idea how long he will be in one. It could be hours, days, weeks, months, years, or…"

"_Or?_" Remus snarled, standing up.

"Remus," said Madame Pomfrey, "he may never wake up."

"No," Remus whispered, his tears dripping on the floor. "I want to see him."

"He's-" began Madame Pomfrey, but Remus took a step towards her.

"I want to see _my Harry_," Remus insisted, and she sighed and took Remus up to the bedroom. "Oh god, Harry." He sank down on the edge of the bed and held Harry's cold hand in his. "I'm so sorry I did this to you."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: This was supposed to be Chapter 2, I don't know what happened-I think I maybe accidentally deleted it or something…Anyway hope you enjoy and please R&R(:**

After Harry, Ron, and Hermione returned to Grimmauld Place, Harry went straight up to his bedroom and cried for a long time. Remus, the man he'd loved since he'd met him, hated him and didn't want to be his mate. He could almost hear Remus's words again- _"_Sirius _was my mate! I loved _him_! You-this is your fault."_

Sniffling and wiping his nose on his sleeve, Harry sat up and got a piece of parchment and a pen out of his trunk. He couldn't stand to stay in this world any longer. Sure he had friends, Hermione was a wonderful friend and so was Luna and Ron, but even Ron envied his fame and wanted to be famous himself. Famous Harry Potter. Harry didn't _want _to be famous Harry Potter. He just wanted to be himself. Harry. He couldn't do that, and the person he loved more than life itself didn't love him back. He said he hated Harry. And the person that really understood him more than anyone, Sirius, was dead because of Harry. And Harry couldn't take all the pain and guilt. He was being selfish, and he knew it, but he couldn't stand it any longer.

_Dear Remus_, he wrote. _I hope this letter gets to you after I am dead. Hopefully once Ron and Hermione eventually break the door down they see this letter and you will know what I have always felt for you._

_Remus, I love you. I'm in love with you, I have been since I first laid eyes on you. I never believed in love at first sight, I always thought it was simply attraction or lust, but the moment I saw you I could have passed out again. You're beautiful, Remus, remember that no matter what anyone else says, even if you are a werewolf. I love you for who you are and you have always been my friend and an adult I trust, and that is something that I will always cherish. And I'm sorry for every horrible word I said to you in Dumbledore's office. I didn't mean them, not even at the time. I was just angry and depressed and so in love with you._

_If you want, you can tell Ron and Hermione how I feel about you, but only if you are comfortable with it. I don't want to push you to do anything you don't want to do. I love you. Harry._

Harry spent all afternoon locked in his room, conjuring up potion ingredients and then making them. However, when he got up to get a vial from the kitchen he forgot to close the door. It took an enormous amount of courage even in this state to drink the potion, but the second he swallowed he fell into the blackness that must have been death.


	4. Chapter 4

Remus never left Harry's body. He sat in Harry's bedroom for days, praying for his mate to wake up. He found that he couldn't cry even though he wanted to, there had been so much crap in his life that he thought maybe there were no more tears left. Sometimes Hermione would come and sit by Remus, and they would share their memories of Harry, or just sit in silence watching him. But usually it was just Remus who was there. Ron wasn't his normal self-he was in a depression like Harry had been and Madame Pomfrey was worried sick about him as well.

On the fifth day, Remus couldn't take any more of this limbo. Sitting around, waiting for Harry to get better and doing nothing when it was clear that he wouldn't get better. Tears fell from his eyes at this thought and he buried his face in his chest. "Harry, please, please wake up," he sobbed. "I love you so much, more than anything or anyone, and your letter…your letter moved me. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me Harry, and I won't be able to take it if you die. I would give anything to hear your voice again my love. I need you. Please, wake up…" Remus buried his face in Harry's chest and let out all the tears that he had been struggling to hold in.

"Remus, love. Don't cry." Remus jumped and lifted his face out of Harry's shirt to see him awake and smiling at him.

"Harry!" They embraced and Remus let out a relieved sigh. "Harry, I'm sorry. I love you. I-"

"I know." Harry pulled back and smiled. "I heard everything you said. I love you too."

That was when they heard Madame Pomfrey shreik. "Harry, dear, you're awake," she said after a brief moment. "Do you need anything? Are you all right?"

"I'm okay," Harry reassured her. "I'd just like to see Ron and Hermione."

"Of course, I'll bring them right up." Madame Pomfrey left with a huge smile on her face and Remus and Harry turned their attention back to each other.

"This is all my fault," Remus continued.

Harry placed his palm gently on Remus's cheek. "No," he insisted in a firm voice, and he gazed lovingly into the werewolf's eyes.

Remus smiled slightly and he was just leaning in for a kiss when they heard two voices say, "Harry!"

Remus sprang back and fell into his chair, just barely not falling on the floor, and Ron hugged Harry and then Hermione. "Never scare us like that again, mate," Ron gasped as Hermione hugged Harry again. "Don't choke him, 'Mione."

Harry managed a weak laugh. "Remus, do you…?" "Yes, of course," Remus agreed.

"There's something we need to tell you both," Harry said a bit nervously, and he entwined his fingers with Remus's. It felt strange, and nice, to be holding his former professor's hand, and he squeezed Remus's hand tightly.

Ron's face broke out in a huge grin and he was so excited he hugged both of them again.

"_I'm _the one choking Harry," Hermione teased and Ron, Harry, and Remus all burst out laughing. "I'm so happy for both of you."

"It really means a lot that you accept us," Harry said, a brilliant smile on his face. "I mean you already knew because you were there when Dumbledore told us I was Remus's mate, and I love him and everything's perfect now."

Remus smiled. Hermione cleared her throat and stood from the chair beside the bed. "We'll leave you two alone," she said, and left the room with Ron following behind her.

"So, where were we?" Harry said, grinning and waggling his eyebrows at Remus.

Remus smiled warmly at Harry. "I think I was about to kiss you," he said, and their lips softly touched. Harry pulled Remus's lip between his teeth and sucked on it, and Remus moaned loudly into Harry's mouth. Remus pinned Harry down on the pillows and massaged his tongue against Harry's. The kiss grew from deep and soft to passionate and after a few seconds Harry managed to pull back.

"I love you," Harry panted, and he hugged Remus.

"I love you so much Harry," Remus murmured. After a few minutes of silence he said, "There are…some things we need to talk about."

"Like what?" Harry asked as he snuggled closer to Remus.

"Werewolves mate for life, Harry," Remus told him as he rubbed Harry's back. "You're underage. I'm twenty five years older than you-what will people think? Your friends? The Ministry?"

"The Ministry won't find out, and Ron and Hermione already accept us," Harry pointed out. "Please, Remus. I need you."

"I need you too, Harry, really I do." Remus kissed Harry softly on the lips. "And I will never, ever leave you."

Harry nodded. "Is that all we need to talk about?"

"Well…no, not exactly." Remus sat up and looked Harry in the eyes. "You are my mate, and mates…well, they mate."

"So we need to, like, have sex?" Harry said, blushing at the thought.

Remus smiled. "Not if you don't want to," he said, caressing Harry's face.

Harry shivered. "I want to," he sighed, and he kissed Remus so hard on the mouth that his lips were sure to be bruised. Remus chuckled and gently pushed Harry away, and a confused Harry sat in front of him on the bed.

"Did I…do something?"

"No, love, of course not." Remus pulled Harry back into his arms. "Madame Pomfrey said she needs to take you to St. Mungo's for a few hours to get lab tests, and I don't want to start something we can't finish."

Harry allowed himself a loud groan. "Damn tests. When I get back, then?"

"It's a date," Remus promised, and he connected their lips again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The tests took forever. First they poked and prodded Harry all over his body and they did a few X-rays and then poked Harry some more. When they finally, _finally _got back to Grimmauld Place, Harry was almost too tired to do anything but sleep.

After eating half a turkey sandwich, Harry went up to his bedroom to find the door closed. He knocked softly, it was late and Remus might possibly be asleep, but when Remus opened the door he was wide awake. The room was dark, but after giving Remus a brief kiss and stepping in the room he saw there were lit candles on the nightstand, and soft music was playing from a stereo on the window ledge beside the bed.

"Remus, I…wow…" Harry stammered, and he sat down on the edge of the bed and ran his hand on the dark purple velvet bedspread Remus had put on the double bed. Remus, still standing, wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed him. Harry scrambled backwards onto the bed and Remus followed him and crushed their lips together. Harry unbuttoned Remus's shirt and then unzipped his jeans, and he flushed when he stroked Remus's erection and felt how hard the werewolf was.

"Oh, Merlin, keep…keep doing that Harry…" Remus panted into Harry's mouth. Harry obeyed and deepened the kiss, then squeezed the thing between Remus's legs. Remus yelled out and claimed Harry's lips again. By this point both of them were gasping for air and Remus pulled back for a brief moment to catch his breath. "Harry," he said, "Harry, my love, I need you inside me." When Harry was naked he pushed inside Remus and Harry kissed his lover to distract him from the pain. He moved in and out a few times, and he was wheezing by the time he collapsed beside him.

"I love you, Remus," Harry panted, and he reached for Remus's hand.

"I love you too Harry." Remus gave Harry a soft kiss. "Forever."


End file.
